good things about today:
burned c.d's
watched a lot of Friends
steve was on Sex and the City
attempted to pack but didn't
paychecks
eating a little on my back teeth
law and order: svu
talking to Wales (it was last night, shoot me)
talking to Briznatch (yesterday too, whatev)
john mayer live songs

bad things about today:
my attitude
my parents
the heat
my teeth
gas prices
car payments

blah, blah, diddity, blah, blah!

adios....

I'm bitter.

And pissed off.

I want you to know that I would be there for you in a heartbeat. But you just can't do the same for me. I don't understand.

I guess I never will.

Is it worth it? I don't know. I can only give so much before I am tired of not getting anything in return.

Isn't that the basis of what we have? Or was I wrong?

I guess I was wrong.

Yeah, who knew.

I should have.

There are times when I wish I could just wake up and be a totally different person. I am so unhappy with the way that I am that sometimes I contemplate drastic meausures. I'm sure that it will never come to that, but I can't help the fact that I think them. I scare myself, because I am never sure what they mean or why I really think them. It sucks. It scares me.

I want to be alright with the way that I am. But right now I can't. Too much pressure.

Argh. Shit. Blah.

I went walking tonight in the cemetery. It's so peaceful and really helps me clear my head. I see all these gravestones of people I used to know and I stop to trace their names with my finger. I miss them.

I have to start walking. I have to start being healthy. I am dangerously close to losing myself. I feel bad all the time. I am so unhappy about the way I am, the way that I feel. I just need something different. I can't be this person anymore. I'm just to tired of the way it is, you know? Hopefully next year will help me. It has to for the sake of my sanity.

Dramatic, huh? Yeah, that's my middle name!